JUNE 30 2020

Just watched the Ted Kaczynski biopic on Netflix. Dude just wanted a private place in the woods where he could stroke his Polish sausage. The FBI discovered among his personal things a 90 gallon drum of Jergens which they immediately air-lifted to the outskirts of a small African village whose matriarchs traverse miles of arid desert everyday, carrying back the creamy bounty in earthen jugs balanced precariously atop their heads. The FBI could’ve dropped the lotion drum closer to the village. That was an oversight for sure. But those villagers are regarded by anthropologists to be among the moistest on record. All because one man had the audacity to dream. To dream and to build a secret jack shack in the woods where he could stroke his Polish sausage in a major way. 4.5 stars