CAVE JOURNAL

I still cannot find a way out of this cave.

My pony doesn't look too good. She twisted her ankle on a slippery rock and she's losing courage fast. I try to comfort her with songs we learned in bible school. I am very tired. Rain water kept dripping on my penis and testicles last night and I could not fall asleep, so I started exploring the cave. Not very impressed so far. Stalagmites are real brittle. I got hungry during my exploratory mission and I almost ate a bat leg which was stuck to my sock, but it was too gross. I want regular food like spaghetti or a sandwich.

There is nothing fun to do here. I am real bored. The batteries to my Walkman ran out yesterday. If I ever get out of this cave, I am going to kill somebody. And I will still take everything in the modern world for granted. This is not going to change me as a person. I'm not going to frolic through supermarkets with my eyes bugging out. If I ever get out of here, this will just be a part of my life that fucking sucked ass.

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