HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM

"Happy birthday, mom!"

"Brandon! I told you not to get me anything.... You should be saving your money for college. Books are super expensive."

"Yeah I remember what you said, but when I saw this I had to get it. It's the perfect thing for you!"

"Jeez... It's so heavy!"

"Open it, mom. You're gonna love it..... L-o-v-e."

[ Brandon watched his mom pick at the tape and jerk the wrapping paper off the weird looking gift. It was a brand new saxophone. Brandon's mother, having no musical training at all, was speechless. ]

"It's a saxophone, mom. You love saxophone music. You love Sting and John Coltrane."

"Well... I... That's true, I do love Sting..."

"So now you can play all your favorite Sting songs on this mint-condition saxophone."

"But I have no idea how to play this. I mean.... I'm not musical at all."

"You don't like it?"

"No, no... I like it, it's very nice, but... how much did this cost?"

"$400."

"Oh my god, Brandon. Listen... I really appreciate this and I know you put a lot of thought into it, but....."

[ Tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. ]

"I didn't keep the receipt. 'Cause... 'cause I was sure you would love it."

"I do! ...I do love it, but it would take years to learn how--"

"Well fuck it! Who gives a fuck, right?! Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the saxophone, fuck the craftsmanship! Right mom?! Right?!"

"Brandon! Stop it!"

[ Brandon tore the saxophone away from his mother. He blew into it violently and danced around the room and cried hysterically. Pictures fell off the walls and glasses jingled. Brandon collapsed and wept quietly while his mother rubbed his back and tried to bring him around. ]

"Brandon? Hey Brandon?"

"Yeah mom?"

"I want to keep the saxophone."

[ Brandon sat up and looked at her. She wiped his tears away. ]

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Are you gonna play your favorite Sting songs on it?"

"I'm gonna try."

"Do you want to see what I got dad?"

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