A Report From The
Hey dill wipes. Oops--
did I forget to mention "dill wipe" means "friend" in the year 2017?
My name's Terry Lord
and I just got back from the future for a special SKYDADDY exclusive
report about the evolution of MTV's hit reality series, "The Real
In 2017 "The Real
World" will be transported to a dusty farm in the deserted town of
Skeebo, Alabama. There ain't no nightclubs, alcohol or hot tubs in
Skeebo, and neighbors are few and far between. Kinda looks like a
nuclear bomb test site.
A single Shetland pony
named Bobby Williams will be provided to the cast for transportation
and companionship. He comes with a comb and diabetes.
The cast will consist
of the same nihilistic, delusional twenty-somethings of various
ethnic and sexual backgrounds who make the present show depressing
and unwatchable, but this time they will be forced to till
the fallow soil of Skeebo Ranch until something grows. Cross your
fingers, chubby mama.
Shawndra, a sexy blonde
dyke from Vermont will try to escape the farm after her bulimia and
self-inflicted wounds go unnoticed by the rest of the cast due to an
outbreak of famine and bloody dysentery. She doesn't get far because
Bobby Williams runs out of steam pretty quick and his breath starts
smelling like farts. It ain't pretty.
the farm will immediately be populated with snotty kids in
overalls whose eye-bugging appetite for Shetland pony meat will have
Bobby Williams skewered on a spit with an apple in his mouth by the
end of episode three. So long, Bobby... Good to know ya!
The children will then
arrange their stupid parents on their backs across picnic tables
with their heads dangling off the edge and slit their throats with a
rusty sickle. Blood runs fast across sour earth as powerful stalks
of wheat spring from spoiled corpses. The land transforms. The
dilapidated farmhouse changes into a stately white mansion with fine
mahogany woodwork, silver, and art. Skeebo becomes the capital of
Alabama and eventually America. A picture of Bobby Williams goes on
the five dollar bill and blah, blah, blah.
So that's "The Real
World" in the year 2017. See you dill wipes in the