WAS HITLER A VAMPIRE

"Welcome home, sweetie. How was your first day of high school?"

"Not now, mom. I'm up to my curls in homework."

"Brandon!"

"Gee I'm sorry, mom. But why don't you lay off me for like five minutes and let me catch my goddamn breath."

"Go to your room! Now!"

"I'm goin'... I'm goin'..."

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"Jason, I think you should talk to Brandon."

"Think so?"

"Will you please put down the newspaper?"

"I'm sorry, hun."

"Brandon is acting strange. Can you talk to him? Please?"

"Yeah."

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"Brandon, will you open the door?"

"It's unlocked."

"Oh, you're right. Can we talk?"

"About what, dad?"

"You mother is worried. She thinks you're acting funny."

"I'm just a little tired, dad. School and all..."

"Are you sure there's nothing bothering you? Why are you wearing your mother's church dress?"

"Well... a sophomore is being kinda mean to me."

"How so?"

"He threatened to kill me if I don't be his personal assistant for the rest of the year."

"Sounds like a bully. What's his name?"

"Justin."

"Well the next time you see Justin, look him straight in the eyes and tell him to find another sucker."

"Okay... But that's not all, dad. Justin said he'll kill my whole family. You and mom. All of us, unless I agree to be his personal assistant."

"He said that?"

"Well yeah."

".........I think you better do what this Justin says."

"But shouldn't I stick up for myself?"

"Yes and no. Think about this... Is being a personal assistant that big of a deal, really? In order to keep me and your mother alive?"

"I guess not. But he wants me to dress like a lady and--"

"Good. What a relief. Well goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"Don't let the bed bugs bite."

"You too, dad."

"Love ya."

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