WHY STAND WHEN YOU CAN SIT

Why stand when you can sit? This office building used to be a pasture with good soil and a community practiced in self-control. Their radishes didn't come from Mexico; they came from the ground underneath my Herman Miller Aeron chair. Why stand when you can sit?

Think about it, dummy. A radish from your own backyard can't be counted by economists, so that radish doesn't really exist. Businesses purchase and confiscate backyards so crazy people can't do crazy things like grow imaginary root vegetables. If you want radishes, go to the goddamn supermarket and buy some Mexican ones that have been counted and are real. In fact, we'll put the supermarket where your backyard used to be. But you should still take your car because why stand when you can sit?

The community that our office building...um...displaced... didn't actually work. They didn't sell anything. They didn't conduct business. They grew food and built things and raised animals and took care of each other but it wasn't a system with unlimited profit potential so it wasn't American, it wasn't quantifiable, and it didn't exist.

We on the other hand have real work to do. With real computers and filing cabinets. We have multi-national corporate interests at stake. We wage wars to protect them and to insure that our grandchildren have convenient access to Mexican radishes. So pull up a chair, my brother. Why stand when you can sit?

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