AT THE BUS STOP

[AT THE BUS STOP WITH BRANDON AND A HANDICAPPED STRANGER]

"Which bus are you waiting for, sir?"

"The 28. How about you?"

"Whichever... Hey nice Maple Leaf jacket... Are you a disabled Canadian?"

"Yes."

"Coooooool... Some of my favorite musicians are disabled Canadians... Nickelback, Alanis Morissette, Raffi..."

"Whoa. That list badly misrepresents Canadian artists. Raffi blows."

"I like Raffi."

"Well, whatever. Hey don't forget about Shania Twain."

"Never heard of him."

"Her. And she's Canadian, so..."

"Sounds like something I would like. Hey can I ask you a quick question about your dog?"

[DISABLED MAN SIGHS DEEPLY]

"Yeah. Go ahead."

"OK, thanks. Is your dog very tired?"

"What?"

"Your dog looks so tired, sir. Did he just wake up?"

"Nah, that's just how he looks."

[CUT BACK AND FORTH FROM BRANDON SCRUTINIZING THE DOG, TO THE DOG LOOKING TIRED]

"Will you allow me to give him a sip of my cola beverage? For the caffeine content?"

"No! He's not tired!"

[BRANDON LOOKS AWAY SCORNFULLY AND WITH HURT FEELINGS.]

[LONG PAUSE...]

"Hey you can't take that dog on the bus, you know. They don't allow it."

"Its a helper dog, asshole. I have a permit."

[LONG PAUSE..]

 

"Still, they shouldn't let him ride the bus because children could get shell-shocked. My nephew has a dog also. They feed him nutritive and healthful meals. Makes your dog look like a real joker."

[CARS PASS..]

"I should tell you sir, I'm not a dog doctor but my diagnosis is your helper dog needs some cola. And fast. May I give him a small sip of cola?"

"Jesus H. Christ!! Yes, give him a small sip of--"

"Oh wait... if he drinks off my bottle, it will smell like his tired mouth. No thanks. He will just have to stay tired, sir. Sorry. Or he will have to get over whatever's bothering him. OK... this is my bus coming up. Talk to you guys later."

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